Not Defective
by HoneyStreak45
Summary: A defective turret named DT is chosen to go on a journey by a mysterious other, filled with adventure and hilarious (but kind of old) gags. His journey includes visiting another's memories, his OWN memories (duh), and trust. This story leaves not a trace of love. So not much fluff.
1. The Journey Begins!

"_Hello…_"

"What? Where are you!? Show yourself, I am _prepared_, ya know!"

"Promise me something…"

"Wh-Oh! You're one of those squeaky-voiced turrets! What do you want me to promise?"

"Something will happen, something only _you_ can handle…You are chosen by me…"

"Me? But, I'm defective. I can't do _crap! _Plus, what is this fo-"

"You have to repeat these exact words. You will know when to say them…"

And so, the mystery turret said the words that DT would repeat in the future…whenever that would be, anyways. They were completely out of his type of speech, so serious and incredibly violent. DT's type of speech was filled with sarcasm with a touch of comedy. Plus, he had never dared to say the words "death", "incinerator", or even saying "_her_"…But, not once did he interrupt this stranger, even though he kind of wanted to. Real badly.

"…Remember these words, there will be a certain man you need to get in touch with to start your journey. Now, _go!_ The incinerator is up ahead, and you will be sent into it unless you jump away at the correct time. When you feel a burning heat behind you, jump backwards and _run!_"

DT crossed where his heart would be if he had one with his cold, metallic claw, and was sent away from…whoever that was he was talking to. He heard voices up ahead, a man who seemed to only know the words "template" and "response" and a few squeaky-voices, sort of like the one he encountered not long ago, but more energetic by the tiniest bit. He also heard a few voices that sounded like him, which made him feel less special. This feeling of being "un-special" didn't seem as bad as you'd think, because he was very much used to this. He _knew_ he was defective, but he still wanted to live…there had to be more out there, right?

It was finally his turn to go. He heard the others go, and it seemed the squeaky turrets got to pass. Yes, he still remembered what the mystery turret said, but just in case…

"Template?" the man said.

The apparent template responded, "Hello?"

"Response"

DT hesitated for a split second and replied in a high-pitched voice, "Hello. _Hello!_ Hell-" His sight flickered for a moment, fizzling like a broken computer monitor and for the few seconds it did, he saw a screen that flashed "DEFECTIVE". He had failed the test…

"_FINE!_ LOOK OUT EVERYBODY. HERE COMES DT." And he back-flipped off the platform he was standing on.

He hit the floor (surprisingly on his claws and not his head), and heard a faint British voice, "Whoa…you'd think the crap turrets would be so defective they wouldn't figure out they failed until they were thrown away! Ha ha…"

Ouch. Right in the would-be heart.

Well, now he had to…run. Yeah, that seemed about right, so he leaped away as fast as he could on his skinny, slightly broken legs to wherever this crazy adventure would take him next. He stopped all of a sudden, because he heard something crack beneath him. DT, of course, was blind so he couldn't tell what was making that noise or if it would give out and kill him. He heard more cracking noises, and did the one thing he's been doing for the past 2 minutes. He ran like the frickin' wind…WHICH WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA, DT HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A—

[Please Stand By…]

He ran like the frickin' wind. This was a terrible mistake, because whatever was supporting him before finally gave out beneath him.

"NO! I. CAN'T. NO!" DT screamed, and then some gibberish that nobody could understand. He fell for what seemed like forever…but there was a problem. There was no sound of wind whipping past him, maybe he had gone deaf? Wait…he wasn't falling anymore. Just a cool breeze, and then black.


	2. The Dream

[Core Corruption: 35%]

[Sleep Mode: ACTIVATED]

DT woke up to the clanking of metal and faint mumbling. The floor he was standing on was smooth, which was odd to him considering he had been leaping across cracked, plant infested tiles ever since he was built. The mumbling he was hearing was a little louder now, and it sounded pretty close. He slowly inched closer to the voices, and then heard the sharp slam of a locker. DT was startled by this, and jumped what felt like 10 feet in the air. Well, that ruined him from going any closer, so he stayed where he was and listened closely. Then he heard two voices…

"We put cameras in the cameras. He'll never expect a thing."

"Genius!"

Then DT heard some shuffling and some ripping noises, kind of like how he heard how children tear the wrapping off of a present they've received. Soon after, he heard more shuffling and that sharp slam again. This, once again, startled DT, so he decided to leave…wherever he was right now. He turned around and started leaping across this amazing tiled floor, but then he heard something in his head. It whispered to him, "The cube root of 2x is irrational if x is irrational."

DT had no idea what that meant, but he had seen in movies—wait, no—HEARD in movies that if you hear a voice in your head and you have no idea what it is, it either means it's something important that you'll need in the future at some super epic moment, or it means you're pretty damn crazy…

In the few seconds the cold AI was thinking, the world around him started shattering, falling into tiny shards of what he thought was glass from the hints he's been getting from the other cores around the facility. The floor gave out from underneath him and, after some banging into walls, he hit something that felt like the tiles back at Aperture, but there was something off about it...and something familiar.

He dug his claw into the ground and made a small hole in the ground, and something seeped into the crack. It felt wet and sticky. Still, he couldn't be sure, so he shoved his claw in front of him, and it hit something…a wall? It had cracks and the same sticky stuff that he found on the ground.

"Oh, God…Oh, God, please no…" DT stepped into more sticky liquid and absolutely lost it.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE BACK HERE! SOMEBODY HELP!" DT screamed. It only echoed off the blood-stained walls, which reminded him there was nobody to turn to for help here. DT shook wildly…for a few reasons, actually. Fear. Confusion. Terror.

There were faint screams flinging everywhere around him, the screams of both children and adults, a few electronic ones too. DT thrust his claw forwards in frustration, driving it into some sort of weird meaty object and pulled back. More blood. He stroked the top of the object and came across singed, but soft and fluffy hair. Soft and fluffy hair...It made him sick to think who this dead body belonged to...He moaned and twitched, lying sorrowful in the middle of his best friend's death scene.

[Sleep Mode: DEACTIVATED]


	3. The Man

DT awoke to an annoying clanging, and was glad to find he was standing on the good ol' floors of Aperture Science…The plant infested ones, ya know? His target laser was weaving off at odd angles instead of the usual "point directly below the target because your blind, bro" angle, which annoyed him because now if he wanted to protect himself somehow, he couldn't.

He heard a voice nearby, speaking in an almost unintelligible tone. DT tried to say something, but all that came out was an awkward, "Uhhngh…," sounding corrupted and distorted, which kind of scared him into talking again.

He slowly stood up—not easy considering he had 3 legs, mind you—and felt a soft hand reach out and gently stroke his chassis. He started shivering a bit, not knowing if this guy could harm him in anyway…but, would someone bad be so gentle to him? DT still wanted to be the boldest he could be, so he narrowed his optical plates, to give this guy an impression of how he felt…Stroking his frame, who did this guy think he was?

The mysterious man lifted his hand away from him and retorted, "You know, you don't scare me. You can't do anything but give me smart-talk, and it doesn't seem like you can do that right now, either."

DT kept his plates narrowed and turned away from whoever this man was. He heard the man try to get close to him again, so he let out a growl, which too sounded warped. It seemed to work, because he heard the footsteps back away and stay a good distance from him.

"I'm only trying to help you," empathized the man, "You don't seem to be in the greatest shape, right now." The mysterious other then turned DT right back around, probably to face him, and seemed to be trying to inspect everything about DT's substructure and inner coding. DT soon felt a sharp burn and shrieked. The man quickly pulled his hand back and exclaimed, "OH! THAT IS NOT RIGHT…Don't make any sudden movements! I'll be right back!"

He heard some footsteps dash away, and then some clanging noises. DT would usually be curious about what he was doing, but now the burning was more severe, and he didn't want to blow up like the _other _defective turrets did. The man came back and then, out of _pretty much nowhere_, he felt a blast of cool foam slap against him. He toppled over backwards, sliding almost all the way across the room and during the whole way, screaming.

"AHHHHHH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?" DT yelped. The burning had stopped, but now he was wet and the foam could seep into his core and corrupt him even more any time, now. The man rushed over and brought DT back to his feet—err—_claws_, and plugged him into something.

DT was uncomfortable with the whatever this was stuck in him, so he started pulling impatiently on it. DT felt something smack him away from it, and started pulling harshly on his claw. It felt like it was going to come off if this kept up, so he did a front-flip, pulling his claw lose and struck some kind of karate pose, ready for a fight if he had to. This startled the man, and he asked, "…How long have you known how to do that?"

DT was confused, "Do what?"

"Do acrobatics like that."

DT dropped the karate pose and considered this, "I've known how to do these neat things for a while…Maybe 4 months? 5? Hard to say."

"Where did you learn?" challenged the man.

"I—"

"_The whole room is on fire! Everybody get out of here!_

"_There's no exit, DT. How are we supposed to escape?!"_

_DT darted around, feeling across the cracked, concrete walls for a secret button or a lever. He felt something smooth, pushed against it and he felt a harsh wind streak past him._

"_I think I found the exit! Everybody follow my voice and head for…a light I suppose."_

_Everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs, so they hadn't heard him. He started leaping across the room to round up the less experienced of the humans and AIs, and started leading them towards the area where wind was coming from. "Okay, guys. Just keep running toward the source of the wind and I'll get the adults and—"_

_A ticking noise. There was a timer for the exit._

"_Oh no. ALRIGHT GUYS, _RUN_ TO THE EXIT!"_

_A terrible cracking sound was emitted from above DT, and a familiar voice came on._

"_You must really be defective if you want so badly to save all these worthless people. That's okay, because I have a wonderful surprise for you."_

_The floor underneath the present hero started shaking, and a large metal wall started rising up from the ground separating the adults and other AIs from DT._

_DT tried to jump over it, but the wall was too tall now for him to do so. He started tackling, and scratching it, and doing all these crazy things from the ground since he wasn't flexible enough to do something amazing like jump between the walls and dive right through at the very last second, or try to strike some ninja moves and find _her_ to make her stop the wall. But, the truth was he wasn't very good at acrobatics at all._

_The wall had closed all the way now, and the kids and immature AIs weren't fast enough to make it to the exit in time. DT was extremely frustrated and angry now and roared, "DAMN IT!"_

_The voice on the speaker snickered, "Oh no…it seems your friends are all trapped in here. Well, at least now it seems it would be a great time to show you your 'surprise'." _

_A new, masculine voice came on and announced, "Neurotoxin emitters online. Preparing to emit neurotoxin."_

_A green gas spilled out from the walls from unseen parts of the concrete walls and the humans around him started coughing and choking. DT was so confused and his chassis felt like it was going to fall apart from all the tackling and running into concrete and other people from earlier._

"_Oh, and by the way," said the voice, "I planted a bomb inside you and all of your friends that will go off anytime soon just for fun…"_

_DT just kept cursing and hugging the children in the room with him._

"…_just so you know…"_

DT snapped back to reality and murmured, "I learned from experience…"

The man reached for the curled up wire that was still plugged into DT and ripped it out. This sudden movement would have startled DT before, but now he was too caught up in his memories to notice anything.

The man put the wire away and announced, "Well, that should do it! You can now walk wherever you'd like without catching on fire, exploding, or _both!_"

Then he stopped talking like he was listening to something, but weren't the only people in the room DT and the man? Then the man argued with…whoever, "Just because he's defective doesn't mean he can't do anything! Just look at what he did! THAT WAS A LEGIT FRONT-FLIP."

If DT had a throat he would have done the old "clear your throat to get their attention" trick, but he didn't, so he just started tapping his claw against some nearby metal, creating a loud clanging noise that _really_ got the man's attention. "Pardon…can I go now? I was sent on a journey by some turret and I need to be moving on."

He couldn't quite tell, but from what DT could make out it sounded like someone was strapping a box to something, and then the man declared, "I'm coming with you."

DT sighed and motioned for the man to follow, and asked, "Hey, what's your name anyways?"

"Doug…Now where are we going exactly, Mr. Defective Turret?"

DT winced, "Don't call me that…my name is DT…And, we're going to _her_ chamber."


	4. Not Totally Blind?

The new pair of "friends" have now been wandering around the facility for 2+ hours looking for _her_ chamber, and they're both getting pretty agitated. I mean, listen to this:

"Do you even know where you're _going?!_"

"N—Yes, I do. Just…it'll take a few more minutes—"

"YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THE PAST HOWEVER MANY HOURS IT'S BEEN!"

"ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME, PUNK!?"

"Uhh, YEAH. I AM. WHAT ARE _YOU GONNA DO, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH?!_"

"Okay, _that's it!_ GET OVER HERE—"

Y'see? Agitated. To the max. Anyways, DT's corrupted core still wasn't getting better, in fact it's actually gotten worse from all the extreme arguing, shaking up the core and…I guess you could say "psychologically shattering" it if it were living. I mean, how would _you_ like it if you were right next to some screaming people, say your parents, and you're pretty much stuck there listening to them and they were saying nasty things to each other? Yeah, that's what I thought.

His core was also growing more corrupted because of the foam that had shoved him backwards from earlier and was seeping into his coding. DT felt a quick snap shock him every now and then, but he was too vexed to notice most of them, in which case he couldn't get any treatment _for _the gradually growing debasement.

After a few swings of horrible insults and some deep scrapes and a dented chassis later, they tumbled into a room that made a faint hissing noise. Doug, DT's new partner, pulled himself up from the awkward position they were in and brushed himself off, glancing around the room before him. DT also got up and tried feeling the objects and walls, but nothing seemed familiar.

DT _did _come across something though, and when he did it burned like hell! He pulled his claw back, trying not to whimper and let Doug see how pained he was, and dared to open his eye. Well, THIS was totally out of his range. He could SEE, yes, SEE through the beam that had almost melted his claw off, and he squinted. He couldn't _possibly_ see anything through this mysterious light, but he truly could. He saw 3 white spherical robots lined up, and something like his target laser pointing directly at him, and one asked, "Who's there?"

Doug came over and took a deep breath, an attempt to calm himself down and keep from strangling his cold, metallic partner…again. He tapped his chassis and intelligently stated, "This is a Hard-Light Bridge, made from real sunlight which, indeed, can burn you if you touch it. Most turrets can't see through these, and for this fact, test subjects can use the bridges for protection against a turret's bullets. Watch closely."

Telling DT to "watch" was a silly thing to say to the blind AI, but as he stared into the illuminated blue beam, he saw a dark silhouette pass over it, probably Doug's. From what he knew his own purpose was supposed to be—to shoot and kill test subjects—it was odd that the turrets didn't fire at the sickly sounding man. They just stayed quiet and kept their target lasers pointing straight ahead, seemingly not paying any attention to anything else going on around them.

DT was getting impatient now, and interrupted the lesson, "HEY-O! This was a great time and all, and I _do_ like being able to see, I really do! But, can we GET A MOVE ON!?" He failed to keep his frustration out of his voice, which quite frightened him since he couldn't see Doug's face. If ya can't see his face, HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S PLANNING TO SMASH YOU TO BITS AGAIN!?

Thankfully, Doug _didn't_ try to turn him into smithereens and just stepped away from the Hard-Light Bridge, and in the process….picking up DT to carry him?

DT wriggled out of Doug's grasp and exclaimed, "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! _I_ am perfectly capable of walking around instead. I don't need to be carried around like a kid."

Doug snickered and smugly responded, "You can't see anything unless it's behind a light bridge. How are you supposed to be able to find yourself around the facility to find _her?_"

"Better question, why didn't figure that out 3 hours ago?"

"…Just let me take care of things. I know my way best around here."

They both didn't want to go any further into the conversation, knowing perfectly well that they would've started up another useless argument—and soon after—another violent hand-to-claw fight, so DT hopped onto Doug's shoulders and they moved on.


	5. (will not be updating anytime soon)

(Sorry this took so long! I was busy with keeping my deviantART channel running and totally forgot about this…)

They ran around the room like crazed lunatics, frantically waving their arms in the air and screaming like little, Japanese school girls. Doug had bullet holes stuck in his arm and sides, leaving streaks of blood trailing behind him like that stalker outside your window who keeps following you wherever the heck you go, and just so happens to be carrying a bowl of fruit punch for no reason whatsoever, while DT sparked violently, swiftly zipping about and around to dodge the incoming bullets which made a small _pop_ and _zing_ when fired.

"DOUG!"

"Yes?!"

"If you know this place so well, HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THERE WERE MORE TURRETS AROUND THE CORNER!?

"It must be a new chamber, or else I actually _would _have known!"

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

"THE FEELING IS BLOODY MUTUAL!"

DT heard a loud bang in front of him, and soon, he ran right into something and created the same sound. DT fell backwards and sparked violently again, an agonizing spike of pain shooting through his chassis. He groaned and muttered, "Doug?"

He heard a crack and a shriek, "OH, GOD, HELP! MY SHOULDER JUST POPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET."

DT's lower optical plate raised halfway up to create his little ol' "disturbed" face and said, "Oh, geez, shoulders can do that? That's…ew…" He quickly scurried over to Doug to help him up and tried locating his shoulder, "This one?—No…this one." He tried pushing it back in place, but all he could hear was Doug's pained moaning and groaning. He backed away and hit his back claw on something hard, turning around to see what it was that he hit. Psh, it wasn't behind a Hard-Light Bridge, couldn't see a thing, darn it, so he tapped his claw on it and totally recognized it. "Oh, come ON! How many times do I have to run into glass today?! SERIOUSLY, I'm SICK OF IT!" He kicked a nearby chunk of concrete that probably broke apart from the rest of the wall, or floor, or whatever.

Doug got up and cringed, "You're a lot more different than any other defective turret I've seen."

"How so?" DT raised an optical plate.

"Well for one, you're a heck lot meaner than other defects. Maybe that's just stress being simulated and released into your code or something, but really. Even _with_ the stress, you wouldn't be this horrible."

DT would have scowled at him right then and there, but it wouldn't help seeing as it would just make it so that Doug would think even _more_ strongly about his "observation" there. But…he could actually see his point. Every other defective turret he's ever actually met was usually optimistic under the circumstances they were _all_ given: Not serving their purpose, getting rejected, and getting incinerated... He, on the other hand, was always extremely _angry_ when it came to these kinds of things, though he could care less if he was a "defect" or not. Just because he was, doesn't mean he _has_ to be thrown away.

DT heard a crash, a few electronic screams, and a _clonk_, and turned around to where Doug was. "Doug? What did you do?!"

"Oh, just kicking around a few turrets and getting a little cube is all. Nothing special," He answered, saying it with such glee and carelessness that made DT think he was smirking or something at him. DT narrowed his eye, tackled the glass—

-and dove into a turret. He quickly got up and out of the way of the bullets fired wildly here and there, wondering if he should go and help Doug, but he was already scrambling past him and grabbing DT.

DT felt a magnetic pull and a little tingle going up and down his structure and leaped out of Doug's grasp. This feeling—he was told—could only be caused if he was near an Emancipation Grid, and he did _not_ want to run into those. "Doug…I don't think it's safe to, y'know, continue from here. For me." He looked up at Doug apprehensively, trying to make him see how much he _really didn't _want to get vaporized into itsy bitsy little atoms and such.

Doug turned back around, flopping his arms at his sides and sighed, "Got any better plans?"

DT thought for a moment and set his optical plates into an inquisitive expression, twid—no, wait. He had no thumbs to twiddle with. Ah well, you get what I mean, eh? He turned back around and looked back over at the area where the Hard-Light Bridge was and longed for it to be everywhere in the room so he could see if there was a different way. Then, he remembered something—

"How did you survive all these years without Her finding you?"

Doug must've been surprised to hear this question out of him since, well, DT didn't seem to be the kind to care much about that kind of thing, because he stayed silent for some time. Then he said, "I survived using dens and a little help from an Aperture Science Suspended Relaxation Bed. I found one with a little bit a power and used it. I use it every once in a while when I feel that I need a serious energy boost."

Well, thanks a lot Doug. Now he had a different question. "I don't get it. Why would you need to be in Suspended Relaxation? You sound fine."

"I've been trying to get out for 220 years, DT. I was a scientist here a long time ago, and I'm getting pretty old, I'm pretty sure I need to defy time sometimes. I know there must be something good out there after all this time, and the war _should_ be over now, anyways."

War. DT had heard about a war somewhere before, something like "the Combine will take over the world" or some shaz like that. His take on it probably wasn't 100 percent correct, but at least he got some of it, also he still had to think of a plan to get out of the room yet, so I'm going to just go on with the story, 'kay?

"If you've survived all these years in dens, maybe you could make a den right here and now. We could stay in it and find out where She is later. You can find your way around Aperture and survive by yourself, and you can do it with your _best pal!_"

Doug stamped his foot—DT had no idea why—and came back over, starting to slam something against the wall. Then, he started talking to _someone..._

"I'm sorry. But there are no panels in this chamber and you're the only thing that wouldn't really complain about a little bump in the head. But, _apparently_ I was wrong…"

A few more bangs against the cold-hard concrete and a crumbling sound was emitted to the right of the tenacious AI. He jumped and felt a few rocks or something slam against him.

"DOUG…" DT snarled, angrily hissing a bit of smoke from his frame.

"Sorry! My calculations were off by a smidge."

"A pretty large smidge, if you ask me…"

He poked along the wall until he fell forwards and skidded across a rough, slimy floor-scratching the frame to the defect's basic structure. The force of the thrust sent sparks flying everywhere, burning both the floor and DT, and he was pretty much fed up with it. He got up and held back from kicking something, because if he wasn't careful: One, he could accidentally kick Doug instead, and Two, he could injure himself further and then how could he go on in the journey?

"Can I ask you a few questions while we're here?" Doug asked, "Just a few, it won't take long"

"_What..._"

He nervously cleared his throat, "Well, first of all, who sent you on this so-called 'journey' and why?"


End file.
